"The Recession"

I read a blog entry on Perez Hilton yesterday where he asked his readers if they were willing to pay $35 to see a movie.

To provide you with some context, Village Roadshow Ltd., Act III, Lambert Entertainment and the Retirement Systems of Alabama pension fund are investing $200 million to build 50 luxury movie theaters nationwide.

The investors intend to charge $35 per movie ticket because the swank complexes will feature "40 reclining armchair seats with footrests, digital projection and the capability to screen 2-D and 3-D movies, as well as a lounge and bar serving cocktails and appetizers, a concierge service and valet parking."

Mind you, that price will not include the cost of made-to-order food prepared by on-site chefs.

So Perez asked his readers if they were willing to shell out the dough for all of that luxury. Many said yes.

Well technically readers said things like...

"Hell yeah, I'd totally go! It's already $15 to see a movie with way less comfort, so why not spend an extra 20 for the luxury?"

"fuck yea i would!"

"My boyfriend only likes to go when they offer the Premium seating - it make [sic] it a nicer "date night" and much more comfortable."

"Oh yes!!! would love that!!! I mean, maybe not every day, but every now and then it would be great. I would do it."

"ABSOLUTELY worth it! it will be too expensive for the ghetto people who talk through the entire movie!"

My point is, PEOPLE OF MY GENERATION--AND ALL GENERATIONS, REALLY--NEED TO STOP SQUANDERING THEIR MONEY.

Do yourself a favor and watch Recession the movie [seen below] instead. It's free.




Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Variety and Perez Hilton.

READ THIS FORTUNE ARTICLE "SOCIAL SECURITY IS RUNNING OUT OF TIME."

My next blog entry will be back to regularly scheduled programming.

Spitzer Linked to Another Prostitution Ring (Yawn)

Former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer has been linked to a second call-girl operation; this one's called Wicked Models. And based on appearances, i.e. based on the operation's busted- looking tranny madam [seen above], it's a major downgrade from the Emperor's Club V.I.P.

A source told the New York Post that the Wicked Models madam Kristin "Billie" Davis--who looks like an overinflated blow-up doll-- "personally serviced" Spitzer.

Something tells me Davis is not going to get the same lucrative offers as Ashley Dupré. Call it a hunch.

Spitzer's spokeswoman Anna Cordasco says, "Mr. Spitzer was not ever a client of Ms. Davis."

I think it's important to emphasize this point because the Post used an un-named source--in it's article on the subject-- as the link between Spitzer and Wicked Models. That's irresponsible! And it makes me question the credibility of the story.

That being said, I'm disseminating the information anyway. Bad me!

If you're not sated and have to have more, read this New York Post "exclusive."

Personally, I'm over this shit...unless Dupré grants someone a real interview or something.

Word of the Day: Meme

Over the last few days I have seen the word meme used and abused in blog after blog. Internet meme this, potential meme that. Meme alert! A Tom Cruise Scientology meme parody is making the jump to the big screen. And oops you've just been Rickrolled.

The word is being tossed around like an audience member at an Akon concert. Hey, I tried.

So, on the off chance you don't know what meme means--and you were just too damn lazy to look it up-- or you've never heard of it, and you're presently asking yourself 'what is this rambling crazy person talking about?' I'm here to inform you.

Merriam-Webster says that a meme is "an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture."

Still don't get it? Here are a few Internet memes you've probably already seen.

The Hamster Dance

Winnebago Man: definitely NSFW, but quite possibly the most awesome meme ever.

And...2 Girls 1 Cup (I didn't make it past the three second mark). I didn't provide the link because now you have to sign-up and become a member of the Web site to watch that shit--pun not intended.

Funny Asian Porn Blooper

The folks over at Fleshbot have posted a pretty funny Asian porn blooper. I'm not brazen enough to post it on my blog.

But if you're not offended by mild pornography you'll think it's funny too.

The video is only about 12 seconds long; and it involves --I'm clamoring for a PG-13 word--jiz gone awry.

Walrus Dancing to "Smooth Criminal"

I'll say it again, that Sonia Zjawinski over at the Wired blog "The Underwire" supplies the best content on the site.

She found the cute viral video--seen below--of a walrus doing a choreographed number to Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal."

The video description on YouTube is in French so I can't really expatiate further. However, I was able to translate, via AltaVista, that whoever submitted the clip thinks the walrus "would make a good duet with the dog dancer."

Yeah, I don't know which "dog dancer" she's talking about either. Damn language barriers.

Just watch the video.


Update: The original video I posted of the dancing walrus was removed from YouTube, so I've put up a new one. You know, just in case you tried to watch the first one and got YouTube's vexing "we're sorry, this video is no longer available."

Tallulah Willis Gets Cheeky While Shopping

Pictured above is 14-year-old Tallulah Willis wearing booty shorts on a shopping trip in West Hollywood last Sunday...with her dad!

I know what's it's like to be a teenage girl, so I understand wanting wear short shorts. But egads!

And apologies for the ridiculous headline.

Images via Starz Life...if you couldn't tell. I also saw the photos on Perez Hilton.

P.S. In case you didn't know, Tallulah is the youngest daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.

Obama Scheduled to Appear on "The View"

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama is scheduled to appear on Friday's episode of The View.

According to The View's Web site we can "expect a no-holds-barred interview between Barack and the ladies: They'll be covering everything from the presidential campaign to his recent remarks on race to his relationship with his wife and family."

That ought to be interesting. At least one of the co-hosts is bound to say something embarrassingly stupid. Can't wait!

FYI: I couldn't find a cast photo with Sherri Shepherd.

Photo via TV Guide.

This is Terrible!

The Interweb is abuzz with different theories on why Suri Cruise, Tom and Katie's progeny, hasn't been seen in public for a few months.

One conjecture comes courtesy of Perez Hilton--I tried to boycott him, but sadly I couldn't.

"A source close to the [Cruise] family recounted that one evening, on the way out of a restaurant, fans surged and freaked Suri out." According to the insider, "She [Suri] started blinking her eyes because people started taking pictures, and she put up an arm to shield her face. She cried and clung to Katie the whole way back to the hotel. That really upset Katie.”

As horrible as it is that a baby may have been traumatized, for some reason the wording of the source's account made me laugh. It conjures a vivid mental image.

Priscilla Presley : Plastic Surgery Victim

Apparently there's more than one reason a reason why Priscilla Presley's face on "Dancing with the Stars" looks similar to a Kabuki mask, forever frozen in time.

According to TMZ, Presley sought the services of an Argentinian plastic surgeon, one Daniel Serrano, who claimed to have injectibles that worked better than Botox.

What Presley got instead, around 2003, was a "low grade silicone used to lubricate auto parts in Argentina."

Reportedly Serrano wasn't even a licensed doctor in the U.S. And the "miracle" injections he gave caused lumps, paralysis and holes in the faces of some of the women--and some men--he injected.

Yikes!

Keep those needles away from your face kids.

Picture courtesy of ABC.
Portions of this blog entry courtesy of TMZ.

It's Time to Boycott Joe Francis, Resident Skeaze

Up until his shady undertaking involving the Eliot Spitzer prostitute Ashley Alexandra Dupré, I'd never given Joe Francis a second thought. Nor did I fully comprehend the extent of his skeaziness.

Yes, I knew that he exploited barely-legal teenage girls when they were intoxicated and vulnerable. But for some reason it never really registered that the "Girls Gone Wild" founder is absolute scum.

Even after Francis went to jail for tax evasion and for conspiring to "use minors in sexual performances," I absentmindedly followed updates regarding his legal situation. The information faded into the background of my myriad media consumption.

Then, roughly a week after his release from jail, Francis dug up old, compromising footage of Dupré--when she may or may not have been legal--engaging in some sort of sexual activity with another chick. He quickly rescinded his $1 million offer for Dupré to do a non-nude spread in his new magazine-- set to hit stands in April 2008-- and go on a press junket.

True to his classy ways, Francis said he was glad he got to Dupré before the former governor of New York, because she peaked at age 18.

At that point I didn't think I could be more thoroughly disgusted with Francis. Okay that's not true.

But then I read this GQ profile. Boy was I wrong.

When prompted to recall his conflict with Access Hollywood correspondent Maria Menounos who called Francis "ever defiant," he responds: “fuck yeah, I’m defiant! It’s like that defiant Rosa Parks won’t give up her seat. Fuck you, Maria. The ever defiant Nelson Mandela just can’t stand apartheid. The ever defiant Martin Luther King. The ever defiant Jesus Christ. You fucking stupid whore. If I saw Maria Menounos, I’d punch her in the face.”

Of the inmates who shared Washoe County Detention Facility with him, Francis says:“The one thing I fear is one of these fucking people showing up at my house. I’m a different class. They’re dumb. They’re the people you see on Cops. Those are the people you see in jail.”

He also says: "nothing will ever happen to me in jail. I’m a god. I’m the cool "Girls Gone Wild" guy. I’m revered. I’m a rock star.”

In the article Francis describes the amenities of his luxury stint in jail, which included cable TV, a DVD player, "a bank of phones" and take-out!!

"I can order food from a restaurant,” he says. “I order pizza. I ordered chicken Caesar salad. It’s like Daily Grill. Chicken Parmesan with fettuccine. Sushi. I had a turkey sandwich and fries for lunch.”

I'm not writing this entry to give Francis any more publicity. I'm encouraging you to boycott his products. Please don't buy the degrading "GGW" videos featuring young, drunk girls who aren't old enough to realize the repercussions of their actions; or who, flat-out, aren't in the position to think rationally. And when it comes out, please don't buy the "Girls Gone Wild" magazine.

Joe Francis is an asshole! He thinks he's better than you. And he's a multi-millionaire who doesn't need your money.

If you need your lustful fix, buy porn...just make sure it's not affiliated with Francis; and doesn't involve animals or children.

Sorry peeps, this is the last time-- I think-- I'll ask you to boycott anything.

Possible Lindsay Lohan, Grainy-Ass, Oral Sex Tape

News in the blogosphere is that Lindsay Lohan's former fling Calum Best filmed her--with his cell-phone--while she was giving him a blow job.

I'm not posting the picture on my site because it's just too damn grainy to decipher whether it's Lohan, let alone an actual human being.

But you can see the photo on TMZ, Fleshbot, Egotastic and many, many other blogs.

Update: A reader has alerted me that the video is not of Lohan. TMZ discovered that the pictures were taken from an XTube video, which was posted two months ago.

"Dancing with the Stars" Boob Alert

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Joe Francis Gets Out of Jail, Proves He's Still a Slimeball

Oh there is just no end to the Ashley Alexandra Dupré prostitute scandal.

As you may have heard earlier today, "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis--who also happens to be fresh out of a year-long stint in jail--offered Dupré $1 million to appear in a non-nude photospread for his new magazine and go on a promotional tour.

It now appears he is rescinding his offer. After going through his archives Francis discovered that he already had nude footage of Dupré.

"Francis told the New York Post that the 'Girls Gone Wild' crew caught up with Dupré during spring break in Miami Beach in 2003 after she had been tossed out of her hotel room following a fight with a friend."

Dupré was supposedly 18 years old--but judging from Francis's track record--when the "GGW" crew proceeded to videotape her engaging in sexual activity with another chick.

"I got to her before Spitzer," Francis told the New York Post. "She looked a lot better at 18."

This guy clearly didn't do much soul searching during his time behind bars. He's still slimy as ever!!!!!

I should add that Dupré looks a lot better in the recent pics I've seen.

Lastly, what's up Francis and Jason Itzler, the self-described "king of all pimps," having delayed recollections of their encounters with Dupré?

Itzler conveniently remembered that Dupré was "the hottest, sexiest escort" he ever had after he appeared on "Anderson Cooper 360 Degrees." Hey, it got him in the door over at "Larry King Live."

And Francis was willing to shell out a cool million before he found he already had pornographic footage of her. Then he magically conjured up: "I actually think she had a sexual relationship with a cameraman."

As much as I love it, this shit is getting tired. Dupré is taking one low blow after another.

The New York Post was the first to report this story. It's Web site has even more "Girls Gone Wild" pictures, prurient ones.

Update: Dupré's lawyer Don Buchwald is saying she was 17 years old at the time the "Girls Gone Wild" Footage was filmed.

Hillary Clinton Attends St. Patrick's Day Parades

Check out this picture I stumbled upon on Zimbio. So awesome.

The caption says, " Presidential hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) greets" ignores "supporters of presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) during a St. Patrick's Day Parade March 15, 2008 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Clinton is trying to gain support ahead of Pennsylvania's presidential primary scheduled for April 22, 2008."

Apparently Clinton attended a St. Patrick's Day parade in Scranton, Pa. too.

(Photo by Jeff Swensen/Getty Images North America)

Perez Hilton Should Stop Making Fun of People

As much as I love Perez Hilton--alright so I'm jealous and despise him--dude should take a long hard look in the mirror before he cracks on another person for his or her appearance.

Perez seriously looks like he belongs on the short bus in this photo [seen above with Bret Michaels] he's using as one of many plugs for his VH1 show*. Yeah, the two-thumbs-up don't help.

Hilton managed to do something else, with this picture, that I didn't think was possible. He managed to make Bret Michaels look normal.



* To palliate my guilty conscience, What Perex Sez airs tonight at 10p.m. on VH1. There. I feel better.

Charlie Rose Gives the Ultimate MacBook Air Endorsement

Viewers of the PBS show Charlie Rose were broadsided Monday night by the host's obvious shiner. No, that Band-Aid wasn't a fashion statement.

Apparently Charlie Rose, took a tumble over the weekend.

With his spankin' new MacBook Air in tow, Rose tripped in a pothole while walking down 59th St. in Manhattan. Confronted with a decision, his face or the razor-thin, ultralight laptop, Rose chose to save the latter.

Producers told engadget "The MacBook Air is fine, he showed us the blood stains on it this morning."

Blog entry idea courtesy of engadget. The Machinist has a funny posting too.

Possible Kristin Davis Sex Tape

I'm not really buying it, but some guy is claiming to have a sex tape featuring Kristin Davis, the actress who played Charlotte York on Sex and the City.

If you're even slightly curious, Scott Fayner, the guy who is shopping the video around, immediately prompts you to go to Club Taylor Rain to buy and watch the video. The limited footage--i.e. the two oddly, angled stills-- and the seller's urgency arouse my suspicion.

Wait a minute. Rewind. Club Taylor Rain. I love Taylor Rain!!!

Sorry for the distraction. Long story short, look at the pictures, don't waste your money on the video.

Not that it means anything, but the woman in the photo does look like Davis.

I saw this on The Blemish first. I Don't Like You in That Way has is too. You can go to either one to see the pics NSFW.
Update: Davis is denying the photos are of her. "This is not a photo of Kristin Davis. There is no sex tape," a spokesperson for the Sex and the City star said. P6.

Attention: Radiohead Music Video Contest

Radiohead and Aniboom are holding a music video contest. Entrants must choose, and can only use, a song from the band's latest album "In Rainbows" as the backdrop for their video.

"The uploaded original storyboard can range from basic sketches to storyboard in video format or a fully developed animated video clip." The deadline for entry is April 27.

"Ten semifinalists selected by Aniboom, TBD Records and Adult Swim will receive $1,000 each to produce one-minute videos. Anyone will be able to vote on Aniboom and MySpace, but Radiohead band members will ultimately choose the winner, who will receive $10,000 for the creation of a full-length music video."

Here's where you need to go for more details and submission info. Get crackin'.

This contest is clearly for people less lazy than me.

Portions of the blog entry courtesy of the Wired:Listening Post.

Bear Stearns is Having a Worse Day Than You

Bear Stearns--the fifth largest Investment bank in the U.S.-- is in the process of selling out to JPMorgan Chase for $236 million--a mere fraction of its market value.

Bear Stearns' alternative: the dire task of declaring bankruptcy.

Yeah, there really is no upside.

To give you a better/tangible idea of how hard things suck for the investment bank, Bear Stearns' market value was determined to be $4 billion on Friday. And just a year ago it was valued at a staggering $19 billion... and then some.

Its shares were priced and set to be sold to JPMorgan Chase for a measly $2 on Sunday; a pittance compared to its record share price of more than $172 last year.

According to Reuters, the deal size is less than the value of Bear Stearns' midtown Manhattan headquarters, which is estimated to be worth $1 billion!

To say that Bearn Stearns is having a sequence of beyond shitty days is an understatement.

The moribund firm is barley clinging to life!

The Wall Street Journal is saying that the collapse of the bank has "shaken American capitalism."

Shawn Tulley, Forbes editor-at-large, is saying that the Bear Stearns meltdown has triggered the "End of Wall Street as we know it."

And economist Paul Krugman, who,thankfully, isn't comparing the current situation to the Great Depression, does say "if the recession started in January 2008, then that would mean July 2010 is the first month we have anything that feels like a recovery." He adds, "but I wouldn't be surprised if it goes longer than that - maybe into 2011" i.e. our economy is taking a circuitous turn for the worse.

Mission accomplished! I'm officially afraid.

I know this is a vague posting, but this is a confusing matter that I don't entirely understand.

That being said, I couldn't find anyone having a worse day than Bear Stearns...not even you.

For more insight into what ultimately toppled Bear Stears, read this CNNMoney article "How subprime killed Bear Stearns." It's the easiest to understand.

This BusinessWeek article is also digestible.

This Wall Street Journal article is wordy and confusing, but it does offer a comprehensive timeline of Bear Stearns' downfall. You won't die if you don't read it.

Image courtesy of REUTERS/Kristina Cooke.

Note. A foreboding look into the future: Lehman Brothers might be having a worse tomorrow than you.

Ashley Alexandra Dupré Photo Gallery

Since Gawker fell down on keeping a "definitive photo gallery" of Ashley "Kristen" Alexandra Rae Maika DiPietro Youmans Dupré--the hooker involved in the Spitzer scandal-- I thought I'd pick up where it left off.

The pictures below are from Dupré's Myspace profile.

Ashley's Myspace caption: "me passed out...I do that often. 2007"
My interpretation: Ashley is pretending to be asleep for flattering photo-op.
Ashley's Myspace caption: "Little Brazil..represent that."
My lack of interpretation: Wait, you're representing what?

Ashley's Myspace caption: "Vegas 2006."

Ashley's Myspace caption: "Who me? No, not me. January 2008"
My interpretation: Boredom inspired pic. Semi-successful attempt at being cute.Ashley's Myspace caption: "St. Tropez 2007."
My interpretation: Man, the owner of that boat is dropping a phat wad--pun intended-- to have her accompany him on his vacay.No Caption.
My interpretation: Another--man-hands accentuating-- boredom inspired pic.
No caption
My interpretation: Uh-oh, she's bored and high...again.
No caption
My interpreation: Wow! People really do put their best--unrecognizable--pics on Myspace.

The picture below was taken from the Emperor's Club Web site before it was shut down. I'm not sure how this picture was determined to be of Dupré since her face is obscured, but I'm posting it anyway.

The pic below is from a Myspace google cache dated March 6. Sorry the photo isn't bigger.
The picture below is from Dupré's Amie Street music profile.
The pictures are from Dupré's high school yearbooks. I swiped them from The Smoking Gun.

The pictures below are from Hotties in the News, which has the most comprehensive Dupré gallery.
The Pictures below are also from Hotties in the News, but they were taken from The New York Post photo exclusive. For some reason the photos are no longer on The NYP Web site.

The pictures below are from her brother Kyle Youmans's Myspace page.


The picture below is a good indication that Dupré is not as hot as she'd like us to think.The Pictures below are from The New York Post.I recognize this is a stupid posting, but I'm obsessed with this shiz.

"Pop Fiction" Fizzles, Backfires

I guess the premise for Pop Fiction-- the new E! reality series where celebrities punk the media by purposely planting fake news-- is a funny idea in theory.

The problem is that-- with the exception of Paris Hilton hanging with a spiritual guru-- I never hear or read about the faux stories before I see them on the show...and I comb celebrity Web sites looking for funny tidbits to post on my blog.

Avril Lavingne pretended to pregnant, and went shopping for baby clothes on Robertson? Who knew?!

Mario Lopez gave Eva Longoria a necklace as a congratulatory token for her restaurant opening, so people speculated that they were dating on the sly?! That's news to me.

David Spade went home with a fake bride after she celebrated her bachelorette party at a popular L.A. night club. Really?!?!

If this show has taught me anything, it's that most of what we read about celebrities, in the tabloids or on semi-legitimate blogs, is probably true!

Mission not accomplished Pop Culture; so not worth being possibly sued.

Now if the whole Spitzer-prostitute-thing was fake, we'd all be crying "punk'd."

"NYT" Did Something Kind of Skeazy

The New York Times has kind of a paltry/tawdry/downright skeazy vibe going on; and by that I mean it tracked down the prostitute from that whole Spitzer scandal.

Anyway, see for yourself.

It's pathetic that The New York Times!, The New York Times!!!, is using someone's Myspace page as one of its sources. That is all.

Update: Wow! The first time I checked that chick's Myspace page it had 660,307 profile views. When I checked back about 20 minutes later it was up to 1,113,600. Craziness. Each time I refresh the page she gets another couple thousand hits.

Her hourly rate just went up. Better yet, she should totally write a book about what it's like to be an upscale prostitute living in Manhattan. Seriously.

It's Wednesday at 8:53 p.m. and her profile views are now up to 2,254,798. She's not shuttin' it down; clearly liking the attention.

Stray Cats Are Having a Worse Day Than You

Apparently there's an abundance of stray cats in the city of Randolph, Iowa.

The solution: entice its residents with a five dollar bounty for each feral kitty they capture.

According to FOX News, "under the new policy," which went into effect March 1, "stray cats without collars will be taken to a veterinarian in the nearby town of Sidney — Randolph has no vet clinic — where they'll be kept 'for a time for people to claim them.'

"If not, they'll be euthanized and buried."

I guess it's better than the alternative.

"One guy threatened to shoot all of them. I told him he couldn't do that in town," Randolph Mayor Vance Trively said of the homeless felines. "Other people talk about poisoning them, but you can't do that in town."

I think that old Mayor Trively is giving the implicit go-ahead to murder the pesky critters outside city limits. He's that fed up with those damn cats! But that's just my take on the situation :).

This video will you give you a better sense of what's going on.

The stray cats in Randolph, Iowa are definitely having a worse day than you!

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of FOX News.

[The above photo is not of the cats in Randolph. It's a random pic I copied from Google images; just in case the snow didn't give it away.]

And not for the squeamish, check out this video of Dawn Tiatia . She definitely had a worse weekend than you. She was scalped while riding a go-cart. Beware the clip is depressing.