"Elle" in September: Jessica Simpson Déjà Vu

Something is off about Jessica Simpson's face on the September cover of Elle. It's like her nose was digitally enlarged to look more like a lumberjack's or something.


I don't know. What Photoshop tragedy do you think befell Simpson, 27, to make her look so weird?

And didn't Elle already do this cover exactly four years ago?!? That's a pretty lazy flub, considering September is an important (possibly the most important) issue for fashion mags.

She even has on the same blue beaded necklace she wore for the 2004 editorial.


Top two images via The Fashion Spot.

Update: G damn it! Flocke has informed me that someone already came up with this comparison for Perez Hilton. I swear I didn't steal it from him.

Today Around the Blogosphere...

I Love Money's Mr. Boston talks about his first experience with almost anal sex; and demonstrates on a blowup doll. [VH1 Blog] Also, he sounds like Elmer Fudd.

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Lou Pearlman--former boy band promoter turned prison bitch-- is just asking to get shanked. He pulled a snitch move and is now providing police with information on a 19-year-old fellow inmate, who is accused of killing a police officer. [AP]

Is Pearlman, 54, crazy?!? He's serving a 25-year prison sentence. And this is not going to be good for his reputation. I hope there's a witness protection section where he's staying.
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The cover of MK and Ashley Olsen's book--Influence-- is making the rounds. It comes out October 28; and "will feature never-before-seen photos of the twins and interviews with some of the most influential taste makers in the world." [ONTD]

This could actually be cool (gasp). I know they've been working on it for a while.
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Elizabeth Taylor, 76, had a health scare recently, after suffering from pneumonia and congestive heart failure. But what struck me more was a comment her rep made to People about her condition.

"At present," Dick Guttman said, "she is surrounded by family, friends and fabulous jewels." [People]

I know Liz likes her some diamonds. But still. Weird.

image via Moldova.org.

Don't be Earthquake Buddies With Judge Judy

She'll bounce and leave your crumpled ass under a fallen beam.



Yeah that big ol' southern California earthquake, everyone's talking about, interrupted taping for Judge Judy.

John McCain Calls Barack Obama a Famewhore

Basically.



Look, I'm not a huge fan of either candidate. But didn't John McCain's daughter go lunching with Heidi Montag?!? His mom--Roberta-- was definitely in Vogue's "Age(less) Issue. [Seen below]

And sorry, I'm still trying to get over the fact that, yeah, this campaign's going there.

It really makes me look forward to Barack Obama and McCain's future face-to-face debates about real issues. You know debates about the important stuff. Stuff like who doesn't wear flag lapel pins, whose minister is the shadiest and, I guess now, who has bigger fameballs.


Come on guys, let's stop dignifying this type of baseless shit...starting now.

Nooo (!) The Hot Guy From "Top Chef" is Engaged

Sam Talbot, aka the hottest guy to grace Top Chef (Anthony Bourdain is a kinda close second), got engaged last weekend. And it's a sad day.

"I'm so in love it's unreal," Talbot "gushed" to People on Wednesday. "She's amazing. She's stunning."

He added, "She takes care of me in many ways. I'm quite lucky."

All right fine, congrats are in order.

His fiancée is a Columbian model (of course) and t-shirt designer. Her name is Paola Guerro, 30. And the two met at Talbot's 30th birthday in Brazil last December.

They've yet to set a wedding date.

And thankfully, there's no word on the romantic details of the actual proposal. Because that might actually reduce me to tears. (Okay so I'm not that pathetic.)


Image via Ducky Does TV.


FYI: Talbot was a finalist on Top Chef season 2.

Today's Sexy Pics [Click to Enlarge]...

Christina Aguilera helps Macy's celebrate its 150th birthday by posing in an ad or something.

[DListed]

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Uh-oh. It looks like Kim Vo got his hands on SamRo's hair.

[Faded Youth Blog]

Have you seen his past work on Perez Hilton?


And BTW Samantha Ronson is 30 (!)

"People" Triumphs in the Battle Over Baby Pictures

Apparently People vanquished in the bidding war--against OK!-- for the first exclusive pics of the Brangelina twins--Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.

But did either really come out a winner?

According to rumors (we've all undoubtedly heard), the mag paid between $10-to-$15 million.

The issue will hit newsstands in the coming weeks. But no word on an exact date (which is kinda the twins' life story).

If you just can't wait that long, and have worked yourself into a frenzy, they probably look something like this...

...only younger.

Obvs the Jolie-Pitts will be donating the money to charity. But it all still makes me feel squeamish.

Image via Just Jared.

Wow America Ferrera Looks G-Double O-D!

America Ferrera (♥), 24, was looking better than ever at The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 premiere on Monday!

What did she do to herself?!? (And no, that's not intended to be bitchy.)


Yeah, Blake Lively, 20, wasn't looking too shabby either.

Images via Dweetir.com and Just Jared.

In case you wondering, Ferrera's dress is Brian Reyes.

Mr. Boston Says Not to Expect More of Him on TV

I Love Money's recently ousted Mr. Boston says he probably won't come back for season 2 because VH1 is stingy.

"Unfortunately, unless VH1 stops being cheap with the people who make them rich, I will not go on I Love Money Season 2 under any circumstances," Mr. Boston said to a blog called Bourgy via email. "So unless they pay us better or I get my own show, this is the last you’ll see of Mr. Boston on reality TV."

Someone's a diva. However, point duly noted.

But fret not friends. Mr. Boston has plans to launch a totally original Web site that's sure to entertain you. Sorry, he's not spilling the exact details.

"I plan on starting a controversial, yet hilarious website in the near future that will undoubtedly become very popular and will allow me to stay in touch with my fans," he said. "I can’t tell you what it is yet, but as soon as it’s up, I will be promoting it to you guys, and I’m sure everyone will find it quite amusing."

Goody! And that same someone is also pretty sure of himself.

In the email, he also said he received a tearful phone call from 12 Pack, following the airing of last week's episode. I guess he felt bad and regretted eliminating him or something.

Mr. Boston bugs! I'm still looking forward to his Web site though. What's he gonna do?!

For the record, I doubt he'll be able to hold out and not give the show another go. He obviously likes the attention. And then there's the fact that I can't see Mr. Boston being able to hold a respectable job, considering he's in the habit of openly picking his nose. (He says he's in accounting.)

Visit Bourgy to see what else Mr. Boston had to say.

Bourgy via ONTD.
Images via VH1 Blog.

Ex-Google Guys Debut Cuil

"I Cuiled it"? Or "Cuil it"? I don't know.

And sorry, Cuil ≠ Cool. Until this becomes part of the vernacular (assuming it does) it reads "Q-ule" in my head.

Also, the search results suck.

More info. here.

Ewww My Fans Want My Autograph

Heroes actress Hayden Panettiere, 18, tried to retreat to her happy place, as she applied hand sanitizer during a meet and greet with fans at Comic-Con on Saturday.

Don't worry Panettiere. Only most of those people had cooties.

Images via Hollywood Tuna.

Gordon Ramsey Tries to Eat Puffin, Nearly Dies

Irascible Kitchen Nightmares host Gordon Ramsey, 41, went plunging over a cliff and into frigid water, while hunting puffins in Iceland, The Daily Telegraph reported on Monday.

"I thought I was a goner," he said."I was panicking and my lungs were filling with water. When I got to the top after getting my boots off I was dazed and my head was totally numb."

Ramsay failed to surface for 45 seconds before his film crew threw him a rope and pulled him to safety.

He was basically fine, considering the accident could have been life threatening. He suffered a gash to the leg.

And oh yeah, on top of that he needed three stitches because one of the puffins--he was trying to catch and eat-- bit him in the face.

"I keep saying one of my kids punched me," he said. "I'm too embarrassed to say it was a puffin. I didn't realize how difficult they are to cook but they're very tasty."

Eww. And aww, poor puffins.

Info. via UPI and Gawker.
Images via UPI and TheScreamOnline.

Additional note: According to wiki, puffins taste like sheep or pig's liver. :(

Madonna is a Sexy Bitch. Also, She's Crafty

Madonna is undeniably sexy. I mean look at those guns. One day soon that Kabbalah bracelet is going to snap from strain.

But seriously, are people still listening to her music...without being intrigued by scandal?

To put it another way, "What’s the last Madonna single you can hum from memory? Of course, she also makes movies—wait, does she make movies anymore? Has she made one since that one that co-starred yoga and Rupert Everett? No, the only reason we're still talking about Madonna after 25 years is that she's so good at making us talk about her." [NYMag]

It kinda makes you wonder if all the recent hype is part of The Material Girl's plan. After all, her "Sticky & Sweet Tour" is-a-comin'.

And Page Six is reporting she helped her brother write the, highly publicized, tell-all book that was supposed to be so damning.

That said, I'm just looking forward to the speculation about whether she uses human growth hormones. Maybe that's really why she was hanging out with A-Rod. Also, she did want to have Jose Canseco's baby. And he wrote that Juiced book.

Homophobic Snickers Commercial feat. Mr. T

U.S.-based candy maker Mars says it is pulling a Snickers television advertisement in the United Kingdom that prompted a complaint from a gay rights group.

This is the second time it's had to do this.

Last year some of the geighs had their panties in a twist (obvs kidding!) over a Super Bowl Snickers commercial featuring two mechanics who accidentally kissed. You can watch it here.

But the latest offensive ad, which features Mr. T shooting Snickers bars at a (presumably) gay power-walker to make him run (because "he's a disgrace to the man race" and needs to "run like a real man"), is a little more overtly so. It doesn't help that the slogan is "Get Some Nuts," although I'd argue that's pro-gay.

Anyway, check out this AP story for more details.

Thanks Flocke!

Today's Sexy Pics [Click to Enlarge]...

No, Kim K wasn't at the beach. And she wasn't filling in for a park ranger either.

[Hollywood Tuna]

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Gossip Girls' Blake Lively tries to avoid being photographed and lets a nip slip.


Also, she has a really cute dog.

[Drunken Stepfather]

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Speaking of premature aversions to the downside of fame, I'd say it's a little early for fellow Gossip Girl, Leighton Meester to be acting like she's too good to have her picture taken.

[Lainey Gossip]

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Even aliens know, sex sells. The X-Files' Gillian Anderson in the August issue of Esquire UK.

[All Celebrity Pics]

SF Mayor Gavin Newsom Gets Hitched

Apparently our dear-old San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom married actress Jennifer Siebel in Montana on Saturday.

I didn't even know he was dating anyone. Scratch that, I didn't even know he had time to date anyone, what with his mayoral duties, a stint in rehab and committing acts of adultery.

But good for him. Congrats!

I wonder if the other Supes were in attendance, you know, since they're all such good friends. (Update: They weren't. Nope. Not a single one.)

Newsom, 40, and Siebel, 34, plan to honeymoon in Africa.

The Chronicle and People have more details.

P.S. At least Siebel's of drinkin' age.

FYI: I wrote this crappiness when news of Newsom's affair was about to break/breaking. He seemed totally fine; i.e. he didn't seem intoxicated; and I'd have never guessed the shit was about to hit the fan. Though I will say he seemed taken aback when the photog (also assigned to the story) got all up in his face.

Shia LaBeouf Arrested for DUI, Needed Surgery

[LaBeouf's truck at the scene of the accicent]

Shia LaBeouf, 22, (Indiana Jones, Transformers) was arrested for drunk driving on Sunday, after getting into accident that left him needing surgery.

(I don't want to sensationalize or anything, but dude totally flipped his ride! Luckily no one was seriously hurt. LaBeouf was driving with a female passenger. And the other guy was fine.)

LaBeouf, was driving when his car was involved in a collision around 3 a.m., Los Angeles County Sheriff's Sgt. S. Wolf told the Associated Press.

"It was immediately apparent to officers responding on the scene that LaBeouf was intoxicated and he was subsequently placed under arrest," Wolf said.

The actor was booked for a misdemeanor DUI and released.

He was later taken to Cedars Sinai Medical Center where, according to People, he had "extensive hand surgery."

He reportedly sustained minor injuries to his head and knee as well.

He plans to return to the set of Transformers 2 within in one month.

And the cause of the accident is still under investigation.

(There's your 5 W's in their choppiest form.)

For more details check out People or AP.

This isn't that surprising guys. LaBeouf had an altercation with a guard at a Walgreens in Chicago last year, which led to his arrest for criminal trespassing.

As LaBeouf told Letterman (back in May), he was drunk at the time.

Shia LaBeouf on Letterman (5.12.08)
by worthyofpimpage

A Throwback to the Supermodels of Yore

Since going green is all the rave, why not recycle supermodels? Okay so that's a stupid comparison. But seriously, designers are bringing (and in some cases keeping) in the old pros to front their fall campaigns.

[Click to Enlarge Any of the Pics]

There's Naomi Campbell, 38, repping Yves Saint Laurent.


Kate Moss, 34, for Just Cavalli. (This is a demotion, I guess.) Moss also has a FW 2008 deal with Donna Karan.


Claudia Schiffer, 37, for Salvatore Ferragamo, with Roberto Bolle (I think).


Carmen Kass, 29, (who isn't exactly old school, but definitely past peak*) for Michael Kors. (I'm told that guy she's pictured with is Noah Mills.)


And Linda ("I Won't Get Out of Bed for Less Than $10,000") Evagelista, 43, who crawled out from under the covers to pose for Prada.

I kinda prefer to see fresh faces. But I guess that's part of what's wrong with the industry, so I should shove it.

* By modeling standards. Obviously at 29, Kass is anything but past peak.

"The Next Food Network Star" Winner Leaked

The Food Network pulled a bonehead move and accidentally revealed the winner of the The Next Food Network Star on its website, a full three days before the show's Sunday night finale.

It has since been taken down, but on Thursday the two losers' exit interviews and the winner's "winning moment" were posted on FoodNetwork.com.

Click here if you want to know who wins.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm the only one who watches this show (sometimes).

Image via Reality Cooking.

Noooo (!) More Redlasso for Bloggers

This irritates me in more ways than one.

Today Around the Blogosphere...

Members of Brangelina's security team had an altercation with two freelance paps who were wearing camouflage and hiding in the woods near the couple's French chateau. (Dressed in camouflage while hiding in the woods? I think that constitutes hunting.)

Anyway, I guess a guard had his finger broken. And biting, kicking, punching and stitches were also involved.

Both sides filed legal complaints accusing the other of battery and causing injury. AP has more details.

Image via Bushlan.

Picture is not of either pap. I Googled camouflage hunter and that's what came up.

Brigitte Nielsen's Post Plastic Surgery Reveal

Well she doesn't look 30, but she does look better. Brigitte Nielsen, 44, came out of hiding for a Fashion Police party in London on Thursday night, after having extensive plastic surgery on a German reality television show--From Old to New.

Before & After

For more details see my previous postings here and here.

And for more pictures of the new Nielsen visit the Daily Mail.

Todays Sexy Pics [Click to Enlarge]...

J. Simp was out and about in NYC on Thursday night and...

...damn her shoes looked painfully snug. Cigarette butt anyone?

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[Daily Mail via ONTD]

Meg Ryan dons a fat suit for her role in the movie My Mom's New Boyfriend. And no, she 's not playing a pregnant Lisa Marie Presley.

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Amy Winehouse looks sober. If ever someone was hurting for a conservator...

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