Custom Search

Thursday, November 8, 2007

"Maxim's" Top 5 Most Unsexy Women Alive

Last month Maxim magazine dubbed what it considered "The Five Most Unsexiest Women Alive." And Sarah Jessica Parker topped the list.

Maxim on why she's unsexy: "How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with "sex" in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth."

Wait. So why was she deemed the "unsexiest?"

Moving on. Here are her sexy impaired counterparts:

2. Amy Winehouse

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband
Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, "Nooo, nooo, nooo!"

3. Sandra Oh


Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy
Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.

4. Madonna


Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle
Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton–like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.



5. Britney Spears

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet
Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.

We have to say we pretty much agree; although we do love SJP. There's no way she's more "unsexy" than Britney Spears. And she's a hell of a lot hotter than Amy Winehouse. For god's sake 24-year-old Winehouse doesn't even have all of her teeth. Trippin'.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

酒店經紀酒店打工 酒店工作 酒店上班酒店兼差 酒店兼職打工兼差 打工兼職 台北酒店酒店應徵 禮服酒店 酒店 經紀 打工兼差

gaohui said...

There are many ed hardy Clothing maternity brands that offer ed hardy sale expectant mothers ed hardy trendy and fashionable maternity wear ed hardy UK for every ed hardy cheap holiday occasion. Such ed hardy Clothes famous and chic maternity ed hardy store fashions are designed by edhardy.com the most celebrated designers christian audigier sale that includes: Nordstrom ed hardy dresses Maternity , Liz Lange, Ann Taylor ed hardy Polos Loft, Gap Maternity , Old Navy Maternity , Isabella ed hardy sandals Oliver, Motherhood Maternity, Babystyle , and much more. These hot brands ed hardy Jackets will make you look stunning at every holiday gathering.