Best Celebrity Nose Jobs

If you want a better sense of the before & after, click on the pictures to enlarge them.

Salma Hayek

Before & After

Ashlee Simpson

Before & After [front view]

Ashlee Simpson

Before & After [side view]

Halle Berry

Before & After

Britney Spears

Before & After (obviously this after is circa 2002)

Camilla Bell

Before & After

Bryce Dallas Howrd


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Fergie

Before & After

Bryce Dallas Howard
Before & Aftera

National College Newspaper Convention in SF

I will be working the registration at the ACP Midwinter National College Newspaper Convention in San Francisco tomorrow from noon to 4 p.m.

It's at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway, [pictured above] so if you're in the area, stop by and say "Yo"... but don't if you're a potential stalker. ;)

It should be pretty interesting. Josh Cohen, business product manager for Google News, is speaking tomorrow.

And I got an email today, informing me that Sen. Leland Yee will be holding a press conference at the convention on Friday. Lee will introduce a bill "to protect teachers from retaliation by administrators as a result of student speech, which most often happens when a journalism teacher is disciplined for content in a student newspaper."

There's lots more cool stuff happening. I've provided a link at the top of this posting if you want the 4-1-1.

Christina Aguilera is a New Mom, Still Has Breast Implants

I was under the impression that breast implants had to be removed during the nursing stage. Christina Aguilera debunked that myth!

As IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com aptly put it, "there seems to be an unholy war, between milk and saline, waging underneath Aguilera's sweater."

Neverland Ranch Tentatively Set for Auction

Unless Michael Jackson can come up with $24,525,906.61, his Neverland Ranch estate will be auctioned off on March 19.

And according to FOX News, the sprawling Santa Barbara property won't be the only thing for sale. The auction will include everything: all personal property inside, all fixtures and appliances, furniture, and 'all merry go round type devices,' any rides or games." The biddable items will literally include "every single thing that is or isn't nailed down."

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of FOX News.

Update 03/13/2008 8:41p.m.:The auction is off. Jackson worked out an 11th hour deal with the auction block[AP].

"Mother Jones" Unleashes Soundtrack of Torture

I had no idea that U.S. troops played loud tortuous music for detainees to disorient them during interrogations ,"induce sleep deprivation" and to "drown out screams!"

Sheesh! I guess I've never really thought about it.

Mother Jones writer Justine Sharrock has compiled a "Torture playlist," that could, theoretically, be used for those very purposes.



Sharrock writes the songs that comprise the playlist, which span from the raging metal of Deicide to the jingle from the Meow Mix commercials, are "based on a leaked interrogation log, news reports, and the accounts of soldiers and detainees"

According to Wired blogger Sonia Zjawinski, the playlist ran as a sidebar to a story, "about the emotional repercussions of following torture orders", called "Am I a Torturer?" The article was published in the March issue of Mother Jones.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Mother Jones and Wired.

American Idol Highlights: Paula Wants to Squeeze Off David Archuleta's Head

In case you missed American Idol tonight, 17-year-old David Archuleta, who sang John Lennon's "Imagine," gave the best performance.

Even though it's early in the game, I think Archuleta could win this season.

The best part of the show, however, came after his performance. With tears, and what appeared to be snot, running down her face, crazy, oh-so-lovable Paula Abdul said: " David...I just want to squish you, squeeze your head off and dangle you from my rear view mirror." It's 4.03 min. into the clip seen below.

I don't care what anyone says, Paula is awesome!

Larry Craig is Looking for Summer Interns

Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, aka the politician best known for allegedly cottaging at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, is looking for summer interns.

Here is a partial job description from the senator's web site: "Interns are paired with staff members based on experience and interests, in order to best utilize their talents." It's not meant to be pervy, but given Craig's little run-in, it kinda is. "They are also expected to fulfill some administrative duties such as answering phones, sorting mail and greeting constituents."

Here's where you need to go if you want to apply.

Cool Songs Made Entirely From Windows & Mac Sounds

The following video is pretty neat. While it's not the only song made solely from Windows system sounds, Wired "Listening Post" blogger Eliot Van Buskirk touts it as being one of the best.



And in the name of a little friendly competition, the Mac community issued a song of its own, made entirely from Mac OS sounds.




Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Wired.

Ugh! Paris Hilton is Getting a New Reality Show

I'll admit that I watched the first season of The Simple Life.

There I said it.

But since then I, like so many others, have come to loathe the publicity, and all-around, whore known as Paris Hilton.

That being said, I wasn't surprised when I read that Hilton is venturing back into the world of "reality" television. I figured that her return to the boob tube was as inevitable as an occasional case of mild indigestion...only worse...and more annoying. After all, there's only so much canned champagne for a person to endorse.

The show's stupid premise did however make me do a double take.

According to Usmagazine.com, "The show is going to be about her searching for a new best friend. Paris is tired of the haters and she's looking for someone new. She's looking for someone new and cool who she can trust."

Why would any one watch her strike up a faux friendship?

Us says the "untitled project" will likely be picked up by MTV or VH1. No word on when the show is expected to air.

Valerie Bertinelli Guests on The Oprah Show

I just watched Valerie Bertinelli on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

She is just so cute. In her new book "Losing it," which I haven't read, she says when she hit rock bottom, after her separation from rocker Eddie Van Halen, her drug-of-choice was jalapeño poppers.

As most of us know, she joined Jenny Craig after that, lost 40 pounds and currently looks fabulous.

During the show Bertinelli also briefly mentioned that she dated Steven Spielberg in the 70's, used cocaine and cheated on Van Halen.

In other Oprah news, Ms. Winfrey and author, of "A New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose," Eckhart Tolle are teaching an "exclusive online class" every Monday night, for 10 weeks, starting March 3 at 9 p.m. EST. You can reserve your seat today, but you have to be a member of Oprah's Book Club.

"A New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose" is the latest inductee into Oprah's recommended reads. The live classes will focus on the contents of the book, which, from what I gather, seem pretty corny and Dalai Lama-ish.

I'm not saying I don't like Tenzin Gyatso aka the 14th and current Dalai Lama aka "His Holiness." I do like him; and have read one of his books. But two Dalai Lama's? At the same time? Enlightenment overload!

Anywho, here's a portion of Tolle's book description found on Amazon: "Humanity now, perhaps more than in any previous time, has an opportunity to create a new, saner, more loving world. This will involve a radical inner leap from the current egoic consciousness to an entirely new one. "

I sense an imminent religious slant. Although Wikipedia says "Tolle is not aligned with any particular religion or tradition."

For more info. check out Oprah.com.

And the Oscar Goes to...

Best motion picture of the year
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)

Best animated feature film of the year
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird

Achievement in art direction
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount): Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo

Achievement in cinematography
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Robert Elswit

Achievement in costume design
"Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal) Alexandra Byrne

Achievement in directing
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

Best documentary feature
"Taxi to the Dark Side" (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner

Best documentary short subject
"Freeheld" A Lieutenant Films Production: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth

Achievement in film editing
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Christopher Rouse

Best foreign language film of the year
"The Counterfeiters" Austria

Achievement in makeup
"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
"Atonement" (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova

Best animated short film
"Peter & the Wolf" (BreakThru Films) A BreakThru Films/Se-ma-for Studios Production Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman

Best live action short film
"Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)" (Premium Films) A Karé Production: Philippe Pollet-Villard

Achievement in sound editing
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg

Achievement in sound mixing
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis

Achievement in visual effects
"The Golden Compass" (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood

Adapted screenplay
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

Original screenplay
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody

Tina Fey Hosts SNL & Supports Clinton

Tina Fey is one funny chick.

She returned to her old stomping ground Saturday, by hosting Saturday Night Live and appearing in the "Weekend Report" segment. Her semi-extemporized skit, behind the anchor's desk, demonstrated her support for presidential candidate Sen. Hillary Clinton.

What can you take away from Fey's hilarious return to live television? "Bitch is the new the black."



Update: One reader was so inspired by Fey, she created "Hillary gear" based on the skit. Pretty funny.

Want a Free Boob Job?

Myfreeimplants.com can possibly make that happen for you ladies.

Watch the video below to see what the strange hype is all about.


If you do sign up, and are lucky enough to have breast benefactors donate money for your operation, don't get boobs that look like Ivanka Tumps'...

...or Victoria Beckham's.

"Maxim" Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening to it

The Black Crowes are pretty upset with "Maxim" magazine--reportedly one of its writers reviewed their new album Warpaint without actually listening to it first.

[The review seen below].

Apparently the tepid two and half stars, out of five, rating given to the album by reviewer David Peisner, in the published March issue of the mag, was based on an "educated guess."

Unbelievable!

The writer couldn't have heard more than one song off the album, the label says. Why? Because, reportedly, no advance copies were made available.

When management for the Crowes contacted the magazine, an editor, allegedly, replied via email, saying:

"Of course, we always prefer to [sic] hearing music, but sometimes there are big albums that we don't want to ignore that aren't available to hear, which is what happened with the Crowes. It's either an educated guess preview or no coverage at all, so in this case we chose the former."

Warpaint, the band's first album in seven years, is set for release March 4.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Gawker and AP.

Update: Maxim has issued an apology for the, um, incident: "It is Maxim's editorial policy to assign star ratings only to those albums that have been heard in their entirety. Unfortunately, that policy was not followed in the March 2008 issue of our magazine and we apologize to our readers."

I wonder what is going to happen to that writer.

Do NOT Buy Listerine Whitening Quick Dissolving Strips

I just tried those Listerine Whitening Quick Dissolving Strips. And they totally suck!

I read the instructions, which is rare for me, before trying to apply them, but they still got stuck to my fingers and folded so I couldn't even use the first strip I tried; I literally just ended up eating it. And I didn't feel very good about it because the strips have a slightly bleachy flavor. You can look forward to a minty aftertaste however.

During my second attempt I did manage to apply the top row, but it still folded at the corners; and started dissolving before it was all the way on. And I still ended up with little balls of whitening strip stuck to my fingers.

The box says it takes five to ten minutes for the strips to completely dissolve. Not true! As I sit here typing there are annoying globs of clear whitening goop stuck between four of my teeth. And I can tell that they're not going to dissolve any time soon.

I'll admit I'm a dumbass. But this product is a waste of your money. I definitely prefer the trays or Crest strips.

I'll let you know if my teeth look any whiter after this experience is over. But I guess you have to use the strips for two weeks before there is a noticeable difference.

Update: As of now, my teeth aren't any whiter. I didn't expect them to be after one use, on only one row of teeth.

Katie Holmes Had Rhinoplasty

I've noticed that Katie Holmes has been looking A LOT better lately. At first I chalked it up to her new found wealth. I figured, well, she has a lot more money for chemical peels, or whatever it is actresses do to a achieve a flawless complexion. BTW does any one know what they use or do?

But then I saw an old picture and realized the difference is Holmes, 29, had a nose job. And it looks as if she may have had something done to her eyes too; they look less baggy and droopy.

She looks better than ever!

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Wow Jason Taylor is Hot!

Jason Taylor's hotness warrants its own blog entry!

Taylor, a defensive end for the Miami Dolphins, will be competing in this season of Dancing with the Stars. And he is one handsome, married, man.

The DWTS season six celebrity cast appeared on Oprah today, during the last few minutes of the show, and Taylor, 33, is taller than magician Penn Jillette, who is supposedly 6-feet-six-6-inches tall. But according to Taylor's NFL Stats, he is 6-feet-6-inches tall. Hmmm.

I apologize for taking my blog in this direction.

Stanford Offers Free Tuition...Kind of

Effective next fall, Stanford will almost cover the cost of tuition for students whose parents' annual income is less than $100,000.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Stanford students whose families earn between $45,000 and $100,000 will pay no more than $15,500 a year and no less than $4,500. For those from families raking in more than $100,000, Stanford has a complicated formula that makes it cheaper to attend based on everything from their assets to whether they live in a high-cost area.

Theoretically, students with a family income of less than $60,000 will have room and board fees waived as well.

There is a catch however.

The Stanford News Service web site says: "Students will still be expected to contribute their earnings from work during the summer and academic year," i.e. nothin's ever really free.

I'm not entirely sure how many Stanford students the extra financial aid will affect.

The Washington Post says: "About a third of the university's 6,700 undergraduates are expected to qualify for the tuition break."

Stanford News Service says: "Three out of every four Stanford undergraduates currently receive some form of financial aid. When the new financial aid program is taken into account, the average family contribution for students receiving financial aid in 2008 will be reduced by 16 percent this year." Kinda vague. Kinda complicated.

The Chronicle says: The "largest financial aid package in [Stanford's] history will help at least 20 percent of undergraduates, or more than 1,330 students." But the Chronicle also says "roughly 42 percent of undergraduates get some form of need-based financial aid from the university." Stanford says it's more like 75 percent.

Derive what you will.

Next fall the price tag to attend the prestigious university for one year will be $47,212, once $11,182 for room and board is factored into the equation.

Now you've just gotta get in.

Stanford only admitted 10.3 percent of undergraduate freshman applicants in 2007; and a measley 1.3 percent of undergraduate transfer students.

AHHH so many numbers!

Portions of this blog courtesy of The Washington Post, the San Francisco Chronicle and Stanford News Service.

Gordon Ramsay Ruins Valentine's Day!

I've entertained the idea that Gordon Ramsay, the irascible Scottish chef who stars in the FOX reality cooking shows Kitchen Nightmares and Hells Kitchen, only acts like a total ass for television. Okay so I haven't really given it much thought.

But his actions on, of all days, Valentine's Day laid to rest any doubts I had about his douchiness.

According to Gawker, couples dining at the restaurant Hannah and Mason's in Cranbury, NJ were told to get out, mid-bite, so Ramsay and crew could finish taping a show! Others had their reservations canceled.

You just don't F with peoples' obligatory day of love!

A FOX issued statement reads: "Both production and the managers of Hannah and Mason's Restaurant, agreed that it was in the best interest of the customers to close the kitchen down last night."

Awww, how utilitarian of them.

If it makes you feel any better, here's a clip of Ramsay getting what he deserves.

Amid all the douchery, I will say that I saw Ramsay on a British reality show, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, where he acted quite nice and gave helpful advice to owners of ailing restaurants.

But Valentine's Day?


Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Gawker.

Leona Lewis Performance at the Brit Awards

Leona Lewis may not have come out a winner at the Brit Awards on Wednesday--she was nominated for best British female solo artist, best British breakthrough act and best British album -- but her performance at the ceremony was awesome! Check it out below. The live version of her single "Bleeding Love," which was nominated for best British single, was as good as the album recording!



Here is the complete list of award winners.

Possible Gene Simmons Sex Tape

Great googely moogely! Genessecret.com released a sex tape yesterday that allegedly features KISS bassist Gene Simmons. The authenticity of the homemade porn is, however, still in question.

I'm inclined to think the tape is fake since the circumstances surrounding it are pretty shady. GenesSecret.com is reportedly an offshore site operated in Panama. And the site's owner has not been identified.

On the other hand, Simmons, 58, has confessed to having sex with more than 4,600 women, which means the odds of the rocker having a sex tape are pretty good--even if he didn't know he was being filmed.

The questionable black and white video snippet, available for free online, features Simmons, wearing a t-shirt and his pants around his ankles, engaging in a few sex positions with a woman identified as "Elsa," a spokesmodel for Frank's Energy Drink.

If you want the full version, which I've read is only ten minutes long, you'll have to pony up $9.95 for a one-day-trial. The monthly subscription is $29.95.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Gawker and Xbiz.

Update: The video is real.

Sen. Barack Obama Plagiarism Controversy

I'm not accusing Sen. Barack Obama of anything, but Sen. Hillary Clinton is. Her camp contends that Obama plagiarized part of a speech he gave at a Democratic Party dinner in Wisconsin last weekend.

I have to admit his speech does bear a striking resemblance to a speech delivered by Mass. Gov. Deval Patrick in Oct. 2006.

“Don’t tell me words don’t matter," Obama retorted when Clinton critisized him by saying he may give smooth speeches, but she is better equipped to solve problems.

"‘I have a dream.’ Just words?" he asked. "‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.’ Just words? ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself.’ Just words? Just speeches?”

Obama admitted he should have publicly given Patrick, his friend, credit for adopting parts of his speech.

And he was also quick to point out that two of his signature catch-phrases, “It’s time to turn the page” and “Fired up and ready to go,” have been borrowed by his accuser while on the campaign trail.

"I would add that I noticed Sen. Clinton, on occasion, has used words of mine as well,” he said.

See a side-by-side comparison of both mens' speeches below.





Portions of this blog entry courtesy of The New York Times.

Lindsay Lohan Gets Naked in "New York"

Lindsay Lohan sure is naked in the latest issue of New York magazine. Did I mention she's not even promoting anything?! I'm not sure if that makes things better or worse.

Lohan's nude series of photos is a recreation of some of Marilyn Monroe's final pictures, collectively known as the "Last Sitting." Monroe was found dead of a barbiturate overdose six weeks after she posed for the pics.



Despite the history associated with the shoot, Lohan says her decision to reprise the photos is not a "sly nod to her scandalous past." She offers a straightforward explanation. “I didn’t have to put much thought into it," she says. "I mean, Bert Stern [the photographer]? Doing a Marilyn shoot? When is that ever going to come up? It’s really an honor.”

Uh... okay.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of New York magazine. You can see the entire nude photo shoot at the New York magazine web site.

Mathew McConaughey's Ad for D & G

Seen below is Matthew McConaughey starring in a commercial for Dolce & Gabbana's new fragance "The One" for men -- like we care about the product.

Dancing with the Stars: Season Six Line-Up

If you're looking for the DWTS season 7 line-up go here.

ABC chose the season finale of Dance Wars: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann, Monday night, as the time to reveal the celebrity line-up for the sixth season of Dancing with the Stars.

The new DWTS season kicks off on March 17.

Here's whose fancy footwork you'll be seeing.Marlee Matlin, 42, an Academy Award winning, almost completely deaf, actress who also appeared in an episode of Seinfeld. Matlin will dance with Fabian Sanchez, age unknown. I recognize Sanchez appears better suited for a cubicle than the dance floor in his picture, but it's the best I could find. Penn Jillette, 52, the gross and gigantic half of the magical duo Penn and Teller. The guy is 6 feet 6 inches tall! Jillette will dance with Kym Johnson, 30ish.
Marissa Jaret Winokur, 35, won a Tony for her role in the Broadway version of Hairspray. Winokur will be dancing with Tony Dovolani, 34.Cristián de la Fuente, 33, Chilean television actor. Fuente will be dancing with DWTS's two-time winner Cheryl Burke, 23. Adam Corolla, 43, radio personality best known for Loveline and The Man Show. I've read that Corolla's partner is DWTS's two-time champion Julianne Hough, 19. It's confirmed, Corolla will be dancing with Hough.Kristi Yamaguchi, 36, Olympic gold medalist figure skater. Yamaguchi will dance with Mark Ballas, 21.Mario Dewar Barrett aka Mario, 21, R&B and pop singer. Mario will be dancing with Karina Smirnoff, 29ish. Monica Seles, 34, formerly the world's number one professional tennis player. Seles will be dancing with Jonathan Roberts, 33. Jason Taylor, 33, a guy I had no idea was so hot/ defensive end for the Miami Dolphins. Taylor will dance with Edyta Sliwinska, 26. Steve Guttenberg, 49, quintessential hasbeen actor who appeared in films such as Police Academy, Cocoon and Three Men and a Baby. Guttenberg will dance with Anna Trebunskaya. Shannon Elizabeth, 34, American Pie actress and pseudo poker player. Elizabeth will dance with Derek Hough, 22. Priscilla Presley, 62, actress, Elvis' former wife and mother of Lisa Marie Presley. Presley will dance with Louis Van Amstel, 35.

I guess Brooke Hogan botched her audition? I totally wanted to make fun of her :(

In other bad news, professional dancer/"hottie from Hottingham," Maksim Chmerkovskiy won't be competing this season. But he'll reportedly be back for season seven.

Update: The first results show, on Tuesday, March 25, will feature a double elimination, a first in the history of the show.