Paparazzo Moos at Mary-Kate

So I guess Mary-Kate Olsen's friend backed into a parked car recently. There wasn't any damage, but in the midst of the ordeal some pap stuck his head in the car and mooed (yes, like a cow) at MK.



Not to side with celebs or anything, but it would have been more fitting if he'd oinked. Also, no offense to pigs.

But on a different note (because it's been bothering me), MK and Ashley Olsen have been on a promotional whirlwind to try to get you to buy their new book Influence--a coffee table tome (if there's a such thing), consisting of pictures of the twins and interviews with other famous people they've deemed influential.

Seems sort of interesting, right? After all, at just 22, the two are at the helm of multimillion-dollar empire. And they obviously lead very exciting lives.

Exhibit A:

[via Olsen's Anonymous]

Ashley pretending to suck the blood of a blue-haired Marc Jacobs at a 2007 Halloween Party.

And then of course there's the fact that MK wanted immunity before she was willing to talk to the feds about the death of Heath Ledger. (Unfortunately, she never had to. Case closed.)

But between their recent taciturn appearance on Oprah (and Ashley's recent solo appearance on Letterman) and this NYT profile of sorts, these tiny tycoons come off as boring blank slates, while also miraculously managing to seem like haughty, ungrateful A-holes.

Enter this long list of guidelines from an Oct. 29 Influence book-signing at a New York Barnes & Noble.

1) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will be with us for a limited time. They will only be signing copies of their book, Influence. They will not be speaking, reading or taking questions.
2) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will NOT sign any memorabilia or product other than Influence. There is a limit of one book per person, and your one book must be purchased here.
3) You will be directed to pay for your book upon entering the store and will be given a receipt for your purchase. Please keep your receipt. You will receive your book at the signing table.
4) Along with your receipt, you will be given a B&N wristband, and then directed to the event space on the 4th floor. You must have a receipt and a wristband to access the 4th floor.
5) Anyone approaching the signing table must have paid for the book and be wearing a B&N wristband. One person, one wristband, one book.
6) You will collect your signed book at the signing table. If you have paid for any additional copies, a staff member will provide you with those before you exit the space.
7) There is no photography allowed. You must put away your camera or cell phone before approaching the signing table. The authors will not pose for photos.
8) If you leave, or the authors leave, before you are able to collect a signed book, you may present your receipt to a cashier for either an unsigned book or a refund. (Refunds only issued within 14 days of receipt.)
9) There will be no extra signed copies available after the authors leave the store. They will not be able to sign for anyone who is not on line. No pre-orders.

[via Racked.com]

Coupled with the fact (that for the most part i.e. unless it's for Oprah) these two refuse be interviewed together.

The point being: I want to like you, Olsen Twins (jab), but you make it hard.