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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Scientologists Want Wino

The Mirror is reporting that Amy Winehouse has been contacted by members of the Church of Scientology, which hopes to brainwash convert/recruit the wayward singer.

"Amy has told mates she received a 'welcoming' phone call from the religious sect’s 'celebrity centre'” in LA. And the paper asserts it has spies who say "She's now seriously considering joining."

The church reportedly recommended their "Narconon drugs programme," to help Winehouse, 25, kick her raging addiction to drugs.

Uhh, I guess Scientologists like their potential converts nice and vulnerable. And boy is Amy Winehouse vulnerable.

Let me count the ways I'm surprised they didn't pounce sooner.

1. A bloodied Wino roamed the streets of London after getting into a scuffle with her husband Blaaake in August 2007.

2. Lest you forget Blake is currently incarcerated and won't be getting out of jail until December.

3. In January 2008, Winehouse was videotaped (allegedly) smoking crack.

[Click for Clip]

4. Shortly thereafter, this video of her singing a racist song turned up.

5. She punched a fan in June.

6.Then smacked her bodyguard less than a month later; in both instances, for no good reason.

7. Oh yeah, she kicked off her series of beatings in April when she supposedly punched a dude who tried to help her hail a cab.

8. Then there was her alleged diaper-wearing-- although Ming and I determined that was just her slip showing, so she is actually potty trained, meanies.

9. Although she has been known to hold a baby in one hand while taking a shot with the other.

10. Wino pattern baldness caused quite a stir.

11. As did Winehouse's ever present, dirt (and sometimes blood) stained ballerina flats;

12. and ratty-ass beehive.

13. In early September doctors worried Wino was brain damaged from smoking too much pot. And by "too much pot" I mean Winehouse went on a 36-hour smoking spree.

14. Also, she supposedly overdosed twice in the span of a year. [Click Pic for Story]

15. Mind you, reports of possible brain damage and a double overdose came after doctors determined Wino had lung damage and an irregular heartbeat.

16. Finally, it kinda goes without saying but Winehouse went to rehab a bunch of times.

You know, after reviewing this lengthy list of Wino woes, if Tom Tom's kooky clan can actually help her, then how is that a bad thing?


Ronbot Van Helsing said...

Why does it not surprise me that SCIENTOLOGIST Greta Van Susteren has been given the task of softball-interviewing SCIENTOLOGY-CONNECTED Sarah Palin on the "Fair and Balanced" SCIENTOLOGY-SYMPATHETIC Fox News Network?

Sarah Palin is connected to Scientology. Here's how:

She has been, and still continues to be, deeply involved with the ultra-right-wing "Dominionist" church movement. READ THIS:

The main nexus for the Dominionists is the "Committee on National Policy", which strangely includes non-Christian organizations such as, yes, The Church of Scientology.

The leading "Dominionist" church is MorningStar ministries, which
despite being a Christian church, leans heavily on "supernatural" themes and blatantly uses the Scientology Cross in their logo:

Jen said...

Geeze Ronbot. I'm not sure what to say.

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