Ali Lohan is Hungry

I recognize Ali Lohan is gearing up to star in a new E! reality series and wants to look her best i.e. she doesn't want to look fat in front of a national audience.

But Lohan should really eat something before shooting begins. The 14-year-old mini-Lindsay looks emaciated and weak. She's hunched over and can't even support her spine! It's not just in one picture peeps.

Bad influences all around.

In case you haven't heard, People reported Tuesday that E! has greenlit a show, slated for a summer debut, that will chronicle Ali's quest to launch her acting and singing career. Mom, Dina Lohan, will star alongside her youngest daughter of course. Get ready, she's coming to a TV near you!

Making Sense of "Rock of Love 2"

I don't want to imply that the show Rock of Love 2--where chicks, who look like strippers, vie for the affection of Bret Michaels--is deep or perplexing. Let's face it, the more you watch the dumber you get. But I figured out why all the girls on the show hate Kristy Joe.

The answer is...wait for it...she's fucking Bret Michaels, which also explains why he has kept her in the game for so long.

The episode six extras, on the VH1 Web site, are what clued me in.

After Michaels and Kristy Joe get back from their group date, Michaels tells her that he wants to take her back to his room so they can discuss a letter she wrote him. He asks her if she's drunk. She says it "depends," and as the two walk toward his groupie love den she says something like, "you're putting me in for the slaughter." He says don't worry about it, just tell the other girls we're talking about a letter. Then he opens the door to his bedroom and coos, "now lets hump."

Who says romance is dead?

Check out the video below:


What also surprised me is how often the entire cast manages to incorporate the word "fuckin" into their vocabulary. Perfect example below.



And while you're at it check out Daisy De La Hoya's--niece of boxer Oscar De La Hoya-- MySpace default picture. She claims that white powdery substance on the mirror is "flour."

Lisa Marie Presley is Pregnant

Lisa Marie Presley is expecting her third child. Her reps confirmed the news to People early Friday.

We can all breath a little easier now that there's a an explanation for her recent weight gain.

For a minute tawdry blurbs, like this, had me believing that "The King's" progeny had just really let herself go.

If this kind of stuff piques your interest, the baby is due in the fall.

This is the first child for Presley, 40, and her husband, guitarist and music producer Michael Lockwood, 46. The two were married in January 2006.

Presley has two children, daughter Riley, 18, and son Benjamin, 15, with ex-husband Danny Keough.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy: People



Update: Yikes! Presley isn't happy about having to reveal her pregnancy. Here's what she had to say on her MySpace blog:

"Confirmation under the gun.

After being the target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures and articles in the media, I have had to show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant.
Once they got a glimpse of my expanding physique a few days ago, they have been like a pack of coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight. Starting with a London publication and then New York and Chicago all writing false defamatory degrading stories about all of the dark possible reasons I could be putting on weight. The US tabloids have been calling all day wanting confirmation on all kinds of insane theories.
They couldn't wait to find out if my weight gain was because I was just overeating, in which case It would be open season and they can do the old following in her fathers sad and unfortunate demise story again or less interesting for them and probably much to their dismay, I could just be pregnant and therefore have a legitimate reason for weight gain at which point they should probably wipe the saliva off of their fangs and put them back in their mouths or they may expose the black little souls that they are.
Now that things are confirmed, hopefully they can stop all of the harassment and I can stop dodging the continuous bullets.
It is unfortunate that I couldn't have announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made us so incredibly happy under better circumstances.
How they have handled themselves with this has been nothing short of irresponsible and disgusting.
Pardon my seething contemptuous tone but ladies, You KNOW if you were pregnant and you felt you were expanding uncontrollably by the moment as a result and the worldwide media started badgering and harassing you for it, plastering you everywhere in an unflattering light, you would be mortified as well.

Sincerely,
~LMP"

Airborne is a Glorified Vitamin

Apparently Airborne , the best-selling herbal health formula that's supposed to boost your immune system, dabbled in a little false advertisement.

That's the conclusion of the $23 million settlement of a lawsuit that charged Airborne wasn't the long-coveted cure for the common cold but rather a vitamin pill.

"There's no credible evidence that what's in Airborne can prevent colds or protect you from a germy environment," David Schardt, a nutritionist at the Center for Science in the Public Interest, said in a written statement this week. "Airborne is basically an overpriced, run-of-the-mill vitamin pill that's been cleverly, but deceptively, marketed."

Customers who bought Airborne in order to get rid of colds as far back as 2001 will be able to get their money back, provided they saved the sale receipts.

I've never taken Airborne, so I don't feel pissed off or cheated. But I still don't think this is a HUGE deal. The Airborne Web site explicitly states that "there is still no cure for the common cold."

Besides this product was invented by a second-grade school teacher. After spending an exhaustive day with sticky, germ-ridden children, followed by an evening of grading papers, how much spare time do you think she had to concoct crazy, revolutionary medicine in a science lab?!?

No, that's not a jab at second-grade teachers.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy: United Press International.

Patrick SwayzeTreated for Pancreatic Cancer

Patrick Swayze is being treated for pancreatic cancer but is doing well enough to continue working, his representative said Wednesday.

The "Dirty Dancing" actor has a very limited amount of disease and appears to be responding well to treatment, according to Dr. George Fisher, Swayze's physician.

Fisher's prognosis was included in a statement released Wednesday by Swayze's representative, Annett Wolf.

"Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects," the statement said.

It also said earlier reports that Swayze had a matter of weeks to live were exaggerated. "All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic."

Swayze, 55, has two films in the works: the movie "Powder Blue," and a television movie titled "The Beast," according to the Web site imdb.com. Both are scheduled for release this year.

Entire blog entry courtesy: Newsweek.
Picture courtesty: Allposters.com.

Beckinsale Says Her Vagina is Her Best Feature

In the March issue of Allure magazine, which is on sale now, actress Kate Beckinsale boasts that her best feature is her Vagina. She even dotingly refers to it as "Pharaoh's Tomb" and "my twat."

Beckinsale tells the mag, ""My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I'm told it is spectacular. But you can't really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?"

She does stress, however, that she's not a skank. "I've only ever had about three boyfriends, she says. "Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!"

I don't want to hate on her fabulous fortress, but this is kind of pathetic.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy: Perez Hilton and 2SNAPS.tv.
Image courtesy: Allure.

Angry "Ex-Girlfriend" is Selling Wikipedia Founder's Clothes on eBay

The details of the semi-scandal involving Wikipedia founder Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales and former FOX News personality Rachel Marsden, who may or may not have been Wales' girlfriend, are pretty confusing.

But what I do know is Marsden says "Jimbo" broke-up with her via a Wikipedia posting. And now she's doing what every responsible victim of unrequited love does... she's making a public spectacle and selling some of her "former boyfriend's" clothes on eBay of course.

"It was such a classy move that I was inspired to do something equally classy myself," she says.

While he denies the two were ever a couple, the current bid for one of Wales's tattered t-shirts is $2,025.00. Marsden is wearing the item in the product photo on eBay, and she's got a crazy look in her eye. [Picture seen below].

As an afterward to the product description Marsden writes "PS: Sorry that my hair is such a mess -- I'm in breakup mode right now and really couldn't be bothered."

This chick scares me!!!!!!

Apparently, this insane situation stems from a statement Wales posted on Wikipedia last Saturday as a response to reports that he violated Wikipedia rules by playing a direct role in the favorable changes made to Marsden's profile.

He writes:

First, while I find it hard to imagine that anyone really cares about my sex life, the facts are: I am separated from my wife. I considered myself single at the time of my one meeting with Rachel Marsden on February 9th, 2008. I am no longer involved with Rachel Marsden. Gossipy stories suggesting that I have been in a relationship with her “since last fall” are completely false.

"The second, and far more important, issue is this false notion which is being peddled that I intervened inappropriately to redraft her Wikipedia biography. The facts are that, in Wikipedia, I work closely with a team called “OTRS,” which handles email complaints and works hard to address concerns relating to the biographies of living persons. Rachel Marsden first approached me via email two years ago with complaints about her bio. We had never met. I subsequently reviewed her bio and I found it not to be up to our standards. My involvement in cases like this is completely routine, and I am proud of it."

But previous racy IM transcripts, between Marsden and Wales, have surfaced on the Interweb; and suggest Wales might not have been acting objectively.

The "me" in the following transcript is Marsden, and the jimbo.wales is, well, "Jimbo" Wales.

Pay special attention to the bit about him "fucking" her "brains out."

And check out the extended version of the transcript at VALLEYWAG.com.

Aside from posting the clothes, Wales left at her apartment, for sale on eBay, Marsden accused her college swimming coach of sexual harassment. He was fired, then reinstated and countered that she had done the "stalking." Marsden has also been entangled in at least two other incidents where she has been accused of harassment.

To think she was worried about how her Wikipedia biography looked before all this happened.

Portions of this blog entry courtesy of Times Online, The Province and VALLEYWAG.com.

Check out the eBay postings. They're pretty hilarious. Especially this one.