Today Around the Blogosphere...

Did somebody say "Ugh?" Oh that was me. Brody Jenner (The Hills) is getting his own show on MTV called-- wait for it-- Bromance [Insert Nelson Muntz laugh here]. According to People, the show has been picked up for six episodes and will entail "guy contestants competing in various group and individual activities that will test their trust, reliability, and compatibility with Jenner, 24, in hopes of joining his entourage."

In other words, the series will be the male version of Paris Hilton's stupid upcoming MTV show, tentatively titled Paris Hilton's My New BFF. [People] Spiffy.

Image via About.com.

Your Weekly Rundown: "It's Complicated"

Sadly, Denise Richards, 37, didn't call anyone a cunt this week on her E! reality show It's Complicated. (Fret not) Instead, she put her dear old dad through hell.

First she informed him that he was going to be her date for a cancer charity event.

To which he responded "No, you're not going to take me. I'm totally out of my element on the red carpet." Richards, in turn, told him, in the nicest possible way, he didn't have a choice in the matter. I'll paraphrase: "Tough titty old man. Your ass is coming as my date. It's what mom would have wanted."

After that he "decided" to be a good sport and go. You'd think that would be enough, right? Uh, no.

Dad was subsequently subjected to an eyebrow and ear waxing.


A massage along the lines of a full-body sandblasting.

"I don't like people touching me," he said prior to this. Aww too bad.

And a spray tan...while he was wearing nothing but a shower cap and a diaper ( ok so those are tighty-whities). Still. God damn!

The indignity.

Which One is Paris Hilton's New BFF?

I guess filming for Paris Hilton's new MTV reality show-- where dumb hoes compete to be her new BFF-- is under way. They shot some scenes at Tao in Las Vegas on Friday.

And judging from the pictures, this series is going to be along the lines of Tila Tequila's A Shot at Love, i.e. fake, fake, fake, fake. You know Hilton, 27, is nice to the contestants when the cameras are rolling. But once filming stops she ignores them. Allah forbid she'd be seen with them in public.

That pregnant chick in the leopard print dress is hot.

Images via DListed.

A New Show Possibly Worth Watching: "Wipeout"

ABC's new show Wipeout--slated to debut June 24 at 8p.m.-- looks like it might be entertaining for a few episodes.

Each week 24 thrill-seeking contestants will compete for $50,000 in the "world's largest obstacle course." They'll eat shit in the process of course. That's where the awesome comes in.

Here are a couple previews:


"$50,000 and I'm not giving it to charity!" :)



I love how the narrators are such assholes. They should have an episode where they compete, and past contestants make fun of them.

Does anyone know where I can find an embedable clip of the buff chick?

Your Weekly Rundown: "It's Complicated"

On this week's episode of It's Complicated, Denise Richards sits down with a reporter from People; "sets the record straight." Riiight.



Maybe this reality show thing wasn't such a good idea...for Richards.

I saw this clip on IDLYITW.

I should mention that I haven't gotten around to watching the entire episode.

Update: That c@$t journalist played the chick with three boobs in Total Recall. [ONTD]

Your Weekly Rundown: "Living Lohan"

Jesus Christ! Living Lohan is some boring shit. I almost couldn't bear to watch it.

The large majority of this week's episode consisted of Ali and Dina griping about how those wily tabloid reporters twist their words. Uh, guys, your words aren't distorted, you just say stupid shit. [Case in point]

The best part of the show was when Grandma put on the Hellraiser mask.

Later, Ali smells something funky in the house and calls the fire department. The operator asks for a last name, hears Lohan [sirens sound promptly]. The whole fire department shows up. Too bad Dina can't be bothered. She's out getting her drank on at some party for a lame magazine.

That's all folks. If this show doesn't get any better, this might be the last Living Lohan post.

Sorry I couldn't even find footage.

Weird Factoid of the Day

Mathew McConaughey has a brother named Rooster (real name: Michael Patrick McConaughey) who is getting his own reality show. The series will provide "a glimpse into the lives of men who have some of the most dangerous jobs in the world." Think Dirty Jobs combined with Deadliest Catch. [People] That's not the weird part. Everybody and his left nut has a reality show in Hollywood these days.

Here's the weird part. Rooster supposedly named his son MILLER LYTE McConaughey!! Awww a man after my own heart ♥. I prefer Bud Lyte though.

Still, that's kinda cooler than me wanting to name my future kid, Roy G. Biv.

Pictured: Rooster [via People].

Update: Rooster's reality show--Black Gold--will give a glimpse into the dangerous lives of Texas oil workers. It's from the producers of Deadliest Catch. [Just Jared]

What'd You Think?

The Lohan's (Living Lohan) and Denise Richards's (It's Complicated) reality shows debuted tonight on E!.

And all I have to say is 'meh.'

Dina, 45, and Ali, 14, said they're taking their lives to the small screen to "defuse rumors" and prove they're "normal." But by "normal," they meant stupid and boring. (Actually I guess that's a pretty accurate description for the vast population). The first five minutes of Living Lohan consist of Dina flipping through the daily rags, in search of something to bitch about. Then Ali complains about the song selection for her upcoming album; still ends up singing something crappy.

Things over at It's Complicated weren't much better. Richards plans to throw a BBQ, but oops, there's nothing to cook on. Thank goodness for BBQ Galore and its $5,000 grills.

The best part of show is when Richards, 37, catches her pet pigs going at it.



Consequently, is that true?!?! Do boy pigs have corkscrew-shaped penises?

Oh yeah, and then there was the part where her little dog eats pig shit off the rug.




Thoughts on the shows or any of this?

Do I Sense a Flava Flav and Thing 2 Break-up?

[VH1]

I kinda thought Flava Flav, 49, had finally found love with Thing 2, 26, this season. They really did seem to have a "connection." After all, he eliminated her, regretted it, brought her back, flew her out to France and ultimately chose her in the end.

But a Q & A session with Thing 2 on the VH1 Flavor of Love 3 blog suggests they're not together.

When asked if she'd seen Flav after the finale. She says, He took me out to Benihana not long after the finale wrapped."

But adds the two haven't seen each other in months because they're working on separate "projects." (What the said projects entail, I'm not sure.)

When asked if she finds Flav physically attractive, she says "Flav isn’t typically the type of guy I go after. I typically go for bigger guys, but being around him, you can’t help but really like him and really feel him as a person."

Code for: NO!

And she did turn down that night cap.

When questioned about what she sees for their future together she says,"I see us having a really great relationship. A good, good friendship, partnership. We’ll be there for each other. We’ll be life-long partners, friends, whatever you want to call it."

Her response to whether the two would move in together, or even into the same city:

"Wherever. He’s a great person. I think it’s going to work out for the best."

The preview for the reunion special does intimate that Flav proposes to someone who isn't Thing 2.

Hmmm.

And, and, and her relationship status on her MySpace is listed as single. Granted she does share the page with her sister.


On a semi-related note, the few minutes I caught of the Flavor of Love 3 un-aired clips episode was some of the funniest shiz I've ever seen!

Myammee reeeeally didn't want to get her hair wet at the water park. First she wrapped her hair in Saran Wrap. Then used TWO bathing caps to cover her head. [The video is A LOT funnier but I couldn't find it]




Info and pictures via the VH1 Flavor of Love 3 blog.

P.S. I hope all this blathering is for nothing. I don't want them to break-up.

Update: I was right. Bla-Dow! Thing 2 and Flav are ovah. Kaput. Flav proposed to his "baby mama" Liz (no connection to the show) during the reunion episode.

Dancing is Not Enough to Get a Body Like Hough's

Two-time Dancing with the Stars champion Julianne Hough is on the cover of the July issue of Shape; and she says, "There are certain areas of the body that dancing won't tone."

Uh, not from where I'm lying on the couch eating processed food out of a bag.

The amazingly fit 20-year-old opts for a 5-day workout plan, in addition to dancing.

Huh??!

"I stretch and do crunches, lunges, and arm moves just about every day," Hough says.

Her workout also includes the treadmill, free-weights and choreography.

Have fun with that Hough, you fabulous-looking creature you.

This issue of Shape hits newsstands June 2.

Photo and info. via People.

At the behest of a reader, here's the link for Hough's music video "That Song in My Head."

And The Winner of "American Idol" Season 7 is...

Is...

David Cook

Are you surprised?

Image via Fox News.

Apologies for ruining it for you if you live in Hawaii or something.

The Lohans Get All Bitchy on "Showbiz Tonight"

Ali and Dina Lohan are riding a media whirlwind to promote their new E! reality show--Living Lohan. And they're not being particularly nice in the process.

They went on Showbiz Tonight last night and bristled at every question. (Snippy interviews always make me feel uncomfortable. Think Angelina Jolie. I've heard Tori Amos's no fun either.)

When reporter AJ Hammer asked how Dina was going to prevent Ali from going down the same wayward road as Lindsay (a legitimate question), she responded "Lindsay is on a fine path. But, um, you're believing what you read, which is kind of sad." When he pointed out that the older Lohan had done a stint in rehab; and had been arrested..twice. She used the trite excuse "nobody's perfect." And said "Ali will find her own path."



Poor Ali. She's a doomed, coached little imp.

Question I would have liked to ask: Hey Dina, do you have a nose to go with those nostrils?

Barbara Walters to Dish More Dirt About Herself

Sweet! Barbara Walters is going to air more of her (very) dirty laundry tonight during an interview with Charles Gibson. The hour-long exposé of sorts will air at 10 p.m. on ABC.

Here's what we already learned since she started pimpin' her new memoir, Audition. (Most of the info. comes courtesy of her appearance on that little thing called The Oprah Winfrey Show).

• Walters had a two-year affair with married, African American, Sen. Edward Brooke in the 1970's. Had it been revealed earlier she says it would have ruined both of their careers.
  
• She says Star Jones made her lie--on The View--about her gastric bypass surgery; as if her 160 pound weight loss wasn't a giveaway. And who forces Babs to do anything?
  
• Jones is now pissed; and says, "It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters in the sunset of her life is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book. It speaks to her true character."

After reading what I just wrote, I guess we didn't learn that much. She could have more to give.

Update: So much for dirty laundry. What we got instead was an interesting glimpse of her amazing life. How dare they. WALTERS IS GOING TO SELL A LOT OF BOOKS!!

Now I just feel like an asshole.

Denise Richards on the Cover of "Redi"?

Denise Richards is on the cover of some weird magazine called Redi.

What? That's actually the cover of the June issue of Redbook. Should someone tell them to fix that; or ask Richards to kindly move her big head? I feel like I'm watching the weather on the 6 o'clock news.

Anyway, Richards, 37, talks about her new E! reality show in the latest issue of Redbook. She calls it a "no win situation," saying "If I have my kids on my show, I'm exploiting them. If I don't, people will think I'm not a hands on mom – That's why it's very important to me that the girls are part of it."

Wait, you'd rather exploit your kids than have people think you're not a hands on mom?!?!

Seems logical.

If the reality show situation is "no win," why do one?

It's Complicated, aka The Denise Richards reality show, debuts May 26 on E!.

Image via Us. You can read more of Richards's Redbook interview on the Us Web site.

Update: Ok so I saw this magazine in person, and you can actually see the "B" in Redbook.

Today Around the Blogosphere...

Beyoncé Knowles might be pregnant. Were her secret nuptials to Jay-Z also shotgun? Oooh. Also, she recently wore an arguably hideous, (I have mixed feelings) backless, yellow dress. [The Superficial]

Living, breathing bobblehead Heidi Montag was on Letterman last night. She resuscitated Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors; and served up a healthy scoop of the same old, same old. I think she was wearing a négligé. [The Superficial]





Is Mariah Carey sporting a secondhand engagement ring? Nick Cannon supposedly gave her the exact same ring he used to propose to Victoria's Secret model Selita Banks. Try this on for size. Who the fuck cares?! [IDLYITW]




Image via The Superficial -- also where you can get a better look at Beyoncé's dress.

Girls of "The Hills" on the Cover of "Rolling Stone "

The girls of The Hills are on the cover of the current issue of Rolling Stone. I tried to read the article, but couldn't. It's that stupid. (No, I don't blame the writer.) I did, however, ascertain one thing from the trite feature. That cover isn't Photoshopped...well not for the obvious reason, i.e. the frenemies, or whatever they are, were in the same room for the shoot.

Oh yeah and then there's this Spencer quote: "People love feuds," he says. "Who were Paris and Nicole before they weren't friends? That's when they became superstars. If Lauren and Heidi were friends, people wouldn't tune in."

Indeed.

The wheels are in motion with that one. He's a real thinker I tell ya.

I think they look cute and everything, but I kinda can't believe this shiz.

Update: Apparently this shot was a candidate for the cover. The one they went with was definitely a better choice.
Images via Rolling Stone.

New "DWTS" Couple Alert!

Yeah, Shannon Elizabeth, 34, and professional dancer Derek Hough, 22, are going to have trouble denying their romantic status.

Pictures of the two, at a beach in Malibu on Thurdsay, have surfaced on the Interweb. Maybe it was staged for Pop Fiction. Elizabeth is the caliber of celebrity they have on the show.

I don't know why I'm doing this shit. I hate postings like these. But there you have it.

Images via People.

The Look of Desperation: Heidi & Spencer

I don't ever watch The Hills. And the ridiculous couple, sitting in that carriage, are two BIG reasons why.

It's Heidi & Spencer begging for attention in Central Park yesterday. They even changed their outfits!

Apparently these two have a deal with one photo agency. They stage their photo-ops, then split the profit. I'm not saying they're stupid for doing it. They're making bank. But, It's A LOT pathetic. Plus Spencer's hideous to look at. And Heidi's metamorphosing into an over-injected, blow-up doll.

Images via Pacific Coast News.
Some info. via [PH]

P.S. Unless something really crazy happens, I promise not to do another Heidi & Spencer posting.

Preview of Heather Kicking Daisy's Ass

Here's a little sneak peak at the Rock of Love 2 reunion special, which airs this Sunday at 9 p.m. on Vh1.

Spoiler Alert: The claws come out. And so do some of Daisy's extensions.



Da yum Heather really gives her a walloping. Don't go for the head. Daisy needs every last one of her brain cells.

Thanks Jezebel. I'd been looking for a clip of this, but couldn't find one.

Prediction: There will be a "Rock of Love 3"

So the Rock of Love 2 season finale just aired. And Bret Michaels chose Ambre (yeah I don't know why she's spells "Amber" that way either), the boring, moderately annoying chick who lied about her age--she's 37. You know, the one who was almost eliminated during the first episode.

'Meh' is all I really have to say about that choice. Oh yeah, and that shit's not going to last.

Watch Michaels let Daisy down easy, while he enumerates how many members of his band, "his opening band and his opening opening band," she has "hung out"with. ;)


video.vh1.com

Update: An intimation that my prediction is going to pan out. When asked if he'd found true love, Michaels told the Associated Press, "I found someone who is really nice and cool and gets rock ’n’ roll. We can see where it goes from here."

When asked if he really expected to find love on the show he said, I went into this to have fun and maybe find someone to like. True love is not going to be found instantly on a TV show.

Also of note, when asked about his omnipresent bandanna, Michaels said his hair was made of the finest extensions Europe has to offer. I do the show without [the bandanna] on all the time and they wont film me. They are like, “Put your bandanna back on. It is your image.” It is my signature thing.