I Finished "The Brothers Karamazov"...Finally

I finally finished The Brothers Karamazov. It took me well over over a month (actually closer to two). But give me a break it was 1,000 pages. I looked up all the words I didn't know. And I read the translator's notes.

Here's everything you need to know about The Brother's Karamazov, a tome disguised as a masterpiece novel, in five easy bulleted points.

• Russians have way too many names. For example, the main character Alexei Fyodorovich Karamazov also goes by Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alxeichick, Lyosha and Lyoshenka. If you're not as "gifted" as me, this will probably prove confusing for you.
• Monk corpses, particularly the Elder Zosima's, smell a lot worse than regular corpses do.
• Despite what critics say, Crime and Punishment is waaaay better.
  
• Dostoevsky thinks (from way up there in heaven somewhere) that even if it defies logic, you have to have faith in God. If you don't, you'll be a miserable lout. And your life will suck.
• Don't feed your dog a nail. He/she will die. And so will you Ilyusha Snegiryov aka Ilyushechka aka Ilyushka.

While this wasn't my favorite book--Crime and Punishment is--Dostoevsky still rules! And there you have it.

My Brothers Karamazov SparkNotes quiz score: 76% (I should have read more carefully. But honestly, how was I supposed to remember Koyla's political affiliation was socialism, not revolutionary liberalism? Last time I checked, those were the same thing...during the 1870's anyway.)

Next up: The Communist Manifesto. Oooh.

Image via Wiki Wiki.